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Hi there!

I'm glad you've come to read my blog, but unfortunately I don't live here any more!

Feel free to trawl through my archives or look up my posts on Scoliosis which will always be at home here, but when you're ready please come and join me at my new home:

See you there!

Catherine Ann x

Monday, 30 June 2014

Happiness... It's OK to not be OK.

Just found this post saved in my archives. I wrote it when I wasn't OK, and I wasn't OK for quite a while. I'm feeling better now though, I hope you'll be pleased to know! I think perhaps I didn't post it because I have a rule not to write blog posts when I'm feeling too emotional, in case quality is compromised or it becomes too personal. But I think this one is alright, and I'm going to share it now for anyone who's feeling... not OK. 

Nobody likes a whiney so-and-so. It’s not fun to mope around all the time, is it? You don’t want to be that one person who always complains or gets upset.

But sometimes, just sometimes, that’s OK.

Remember that you’re not going to be happy all the time—and you don’t have to pretend to be either.

There are very few, if any, truly evil people in the world. But what people can be is careless, selfish, plain silly… that goes for all of us. This means there are plenty of occasions when humans make other humans feel like crap, and for whatever reason think it’s OK to do so.

What should we do when this happens? When a stranger is mean, it’s easy to just decide: Oh, I don’t like that person.

But when it’s someone you have to spend all your time with, it can be the scariest thing in the world to say, “I really don’t like the way you…”

And in an ideal world, you shouldn’t have to. In an ideal world, you and I should be able to tell when we’ve done or said something bad. When we’ve let someone down. When we’ve made someone unhappy.

And if we do, we apologise, and life goes on, and maybe it goes back to normal and maybe it doesn’t.

However, if someone thinks they’ve done the right thing, but someone else ends up getting hurt, it’s necessary to tell them that the way they’re acting isn’t OK. That we’re not OK.

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to our friends.

Being part of a relationship which might be a little… unbalanced is a very tricky situation. When you feel like you’re giving and giving, and that person isn’t there for you, then it should be OK to let that person know.

Whether you tell them it’s not OK—and in this case, we need to tell people right away, not let things build up inside till we go mental (ahem)—or decide that you’d be better off with people who treat you right, you need to be proactive.

It’s the easiest thing in the world to hurt and hurt but pretend to be OK, because saying you’re not OK is too much effort.

But the bottom line is this: the world is full of people trying to be happy, and sometimes that means that the happiness of others suffers.

Don’t be the one who sacrifices someone else’s happiness, but don’t be the one who makes that sacrifice all the time either.

You have the right to spend time with whoever you want.

You have the right to get upset.

Just not forever. 

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