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I'm glad you've come to read my blog, but unfortunately I don't live here any more!

Feel free to trawl through my archives or look up my posts on Scoliosis which will always be at home here, but when you're ready please come and join me at my new home:

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Catherine Ann x

Monday, 27 May 2013

Friends and Foes... Which One Am I?

I’m sitting in my third exam of the day—French—and I can’t concentrate so rather than re-reading for the zillionth time or revising for the next three exams tomorrow (I suspect zombie teachers are involved), I’ve decided to draft my next post.

After tomorrow I just have an awards night to go to (not the Oscars, but I’ll be pretending it is), and then I am officially on holiday. I’ll be upping to a post every other day as a result... lucky you! I’ve also received the first entries for my art competition (top right) so they’ll be going up soon. By the by, people, I live here. I know when the holidays start and how ridiculously long they are... get entering!

Anyway, today I want to talk about how we treat our friends. I’ve spoken about what makes a goodfriend, and I’ve also looked at what it means to be bullied. Something I really worry about is this: what if I’m being a bully? Not intentionally, of course, but do I sometimes hurt people’s feelings? Do I speak without thinking? I know it’s been done to me in the past, but the beauty of a good friend is that you can say your piece, and they’ll respond with “Really? I do? You do? I am sorry. I’ll try not to do it again.” And they’ll mean it.

I think it all comes down to being a little more conscientious. That’s my favourite word. I’ve been waiting to use it. I think if we all just too a moment to look around us, gauge reactions and think about how we’d feel in someone else’s place, there’d be a lot less unnecessary anguish in the world.
Do you have a friend whose face lights up when they see you? I know I do. Does your face do the same? I hope mine does. When I find that someone’s pleased to see me—or is at least doing a fine job of pretending—all my insecurities kind of vanish. They want to talk to me! OK, so step one... Look happy to see people. Easy peasy.

Now, I don’t want to compare friendship to marriage as it might alarm my own friends somewhat, but I recall a hilarious joke John Bishop made. He was talking about all the lovely times he and his wife had together, all the Christmases, the birthdays... “But after ten years. The way they bleedin’ breathe.”
It’s true, isn’t it? We all get annoyed from time to time. Rest assured the feeling will be mutual...

...but the real danger is when we take our friends for granted and forget to tell them how awesome they are. 
Friends, if you’re reading this, I love you.

There’s always this one guy or girl, isn’t there, who gets “slagged off” from time to time. They don’t mind. It’s a joke. They can take it. Maybe so, but make sure they’re not just putting on a brave face. If it does hurt their feelings, they might be too afraid to tell you. Who wants to be a spoilsport?

For example, my friends have learned exactly what it’s OK to joke about and what it isn’t (and I flatter myself I’ve learned the same about them). It’s hilarious, for instance, to talk about how dull my life is. Because it’s dull. And I’m cool with that. But it’s not OK to comment on my weight. And they know that, so they don’t. Unless of course it’s to say something nice. There are times when you tell the truth to friends, and times you don’t. Take a conversation between Wolf and I a while back.

Me: How’s my hair?
Wolf: Do you have a hair band?
Me: No.
Wolf: Yeah, it's lovely.

See what I mean? So a little more thinking about our words and actions please. That goes for me as well!

By the way, I’m kind of sad Blog Every Day In May is coming to an end, even though I haven’t been taking part. I’ll miss Bambi and Crow’s posts. I’m thinking about picking my favourite few ideas and doing them in June, just for fun. Watch this space! 

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